"I hidwhat I did for fear of losing you and no other reason. How do I admit tothe woman who has become my reason for living, I am not the man shethought I was? Hiding it was wrong; I admit it. Never seeing those violeteyes, feeling your touch, or hearing the sound of your voice again is ahorror I couldn't face."Now it's up to you. I'm willing to fight for you to prove my love. Youcould kick me to the curb right now, but I won't go willingly. If I needto do 'penance' for my sins, I will ? within reason." Within reason," I repeated. "Within reason? I caught you red-handed in alie, even if it was one of omission. I have discovered a side of youwhich fundamentally changes the nature of our relationship, less than amonth before we walk down the aisle. I will lose a ton of money if Icancel the wedding now..." We will lose a ton of money," he corrected."Don't talk to me about we," I spat. "Why should I care about what youhave to lose? You obviously didn't care about me! By rights, I. This was one of those occasions. After a few minutes of looking puzzled, she started to smile, then to giggle.I eventually wound down, gasping. "Frigid. Okay, it does happen, but most women labelled 'frigid' are just married to a man who can't be bothered to find out what heats them up. Anna ... I hope you realise you are one hundred percent sexy woman. He's just an idiot; a lazy, selfish idiot."She came to me and held me close. "What a lovely man you are..." With a lovely lady. But..." I frowned, "what about us? Susan and I never divorced..." Bill ... you still love her, don't you?" It wasn't a challenge, or a plea ... just a simple, calm statement of fact.I thought about it. 'I divorce Susan, marry Anna (if she'll agree)and if Susan and I meet, we'll just be ... acquaintances.' No, that didn't seem right, didn't fit. 'I love my wife'. Truth. 'I'm willing to give up Anna and beg Susan to come back'. A horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach."I still love Susan. I'd hate to.
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